If You’re Feeling Stuck, Collective Healing Might Set You Free

Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC is a licensed therapist who helps his clients achieve a greater connection with themselves. He is on a mission to destigmatize the subject of mental health through his work as the founder of therapy and wellness practice Viva, and as the author of several books including Self-Care for Black Men and The Shadow Work Workbook. In his first column for Men’s Health, Caraballo explores the challenges we face on the journey to personal healing, and how community can play a pivotal role.

YOU ALREADY KNOW that the world is a mess right now, with political division and economic hardship (to name just two) making it even harder to deal with our own personal issues. A lot of us are anxious, struggling, and desperately in need of more support and healing. And a lot of us are wondering: How do you look ahead when the world, and the future, feel so bleak?

The answer is that by making the conscious choice to move forward, despite daunting challenges that seem insurmountable, we create opportunities for healing.

The question of how we heal is a constant question I face in my work as a therapist. As I sit in sessions every week with clients who seek my support and expertise, I’ve come to realize so many of us are trying our best to navigate this world, and to keep dread, anger, and even heartbreak from consuming us. It’s not at all uncommon for us to feel alone in this pursuit, despite the realization that so many of the emotional injuries we sustain are also collective. Given that, it’s important to consider how we can respond to collective pain with collective healing.

What is Collective Healing? Why It’s the Next Frontier in Wellness

COLLECTIVE HEALING MEANS making an effort to heal through mutual support and shared experiences. Social connection helps reduce the pain of isolation you may feel while doomscrolling on your phone or watching the news.

While self-care has been a mental health buzzword for years now, men must continue to evolve and find healing in community as well, especially as we face high numbers of isolation and loneliness. To take care of oneself is one thing. It’s an entirely different pursuit to actively invest in the community so that all members feel validated, seen, and cared for. This community level engagement is exactly what social and activist oriented organizations like the Black Emotional Mental Health Collective (BEAM) and Still I Run advocate for, through their mission-driven community events and support groups.

If mission-driven organizations aren’t available to you in your area, then cultural gatherings such as religious services, Indigenous powwows, holiday celebrations like Ramadan, Diwali, and Lunar New Year also offer opportunities for fellowship and connection. These are spaces to connect, find shared meaning, and exchange strategies for community development and survival.

In addition to the opportunities listed above, more conventional shared healing spaces such as group therapy, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), and other identity-based therapeutic groups, are also powerful opportunities to connect and heal through shared challenges. These kinds of groups can also bolster your other efforts in bettering yourself such as in your own individual therapy.

Healing alongside others highlights the reality that we, as human beings, are social creatures. Being with others helps lower the risk of anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. Through the insights and wisdom shared within community, you are able to learn skills that can help you survive, cope, and possibly even thrive when that otherwise might seem impossible. Collective healing provides hope towards a previously unimaginable, brighter future.

Collective Healing is Very Much Online Too

VIRTUAL SPACES OFFER us refuge in challenging times as well. Not only can you find like-minded folks online who may share your beliefs and perspectives, but you can also find deep connection and healing. Virtual communities and shared-interest groups (like healing circles, men’s groups, book clubs, and gaming communities, etc.) also open doors for deeper connection and help reduce isolation of their members.

Virtual collective healing options are especially helpful given their convenience and flexibility for folks who are immunocompromised or otherwise need flexibility in inhabiting social spaces (those living with social anxiety, Autism, etc.). The relationships in these communities can flourish with a bit of added investment and vulnerability. Simply put, you may end up gaining a lot from group members as you demonstrate the courage to share what you’re feeling and what kind of connection and support you’re looking for. You may also consider investing in mutual aid groups, as either a beneficiary or contributor (or both, at different times), to help those most in need get the resources necessary to survive and live well.

If you want to invest more in community and aren’t sure where to start, it can be helpful to do some reflecting on what you’re currently struggling with. That is, if you find your anxiety is higher most days than not, then group therapy with a focus on anxiety management could be a good place to start. If you’re feeling isolated from other men from the same cultural background or life stage, then a support or meet up group (e.g. groups for Black men, events for new fathers, etc.) are solid options too. You can also look for groups based on interest (like Star Wars film fans, fiction writers, or guys who like working out). All of these provide the opportunity to make new connections which you can gradually build over time.

Most of us have felt the world fracturing underneath us for some time now. The challenges that lie ahead certainly pose ongoing threats to our mental health and wellbeing, as individuals and as members of a global community. It’s going to be a tough road, but the good news is you don’t have to walk the path alone. Investing in collective healing offers you the opportunity for support in your struggles, and cheers for your successes and triumphs.

By investing in community, you can find the resources and connections that will help you heal and invest in a healthier future for all of us.